there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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