her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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