The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have aggressive nipples.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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