Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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