He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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