I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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