thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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