so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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