I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
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I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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