I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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