I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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