just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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