Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
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He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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