Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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