He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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