i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize