I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
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He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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