just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize