I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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