Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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