Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize