Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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