i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
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So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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