summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize