pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize