Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize