Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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