you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize