just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize