Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
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She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
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If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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