Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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