Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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