I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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