But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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