we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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