so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize