Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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