Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
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for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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