8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
pray to the hookup gods
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize