Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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