I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize