You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize