He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize