I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize