Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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