hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I believe in your delicious
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize