I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
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I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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