How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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