If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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