I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
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Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
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